Dreamscape

Dreamscape

When I look into your eyes

I see forever.

Your tender lips are like the petals of roses.

When I see your smile

Butterflies fill my body;

They lift me up and let me fly.

Your tender embrace is the gentlest I have ever felt.

A soft caress,

A sensual touch,

You take my breath away.

©2011

View at your own discretion.

So I have been thinking over the last few weeks about decisions I have made and just in general why I do what I do and think. It has been an enlightening experience. I have found that I express myself better when I write things down so here is a little insight on me. This might seem as just some rambling to some people, but it is something I feel I need to put down and just have. As the title says view at your own discretion.

Family and Friends


My family and friends means everything to me. They are my life. Without them I would not be the person I am today. They have helped shape and mold me. I would bend over backwards and do anything for them. To me there is no distinction between close friends and family, sometimes those friends are the only family you have. I know for me I only have a few friends or family members for that matter that are close; I can tell them anything and not be afraid to be judged. For these people I will be eternally greatful for. I would die for these people if I had to and I have no doubt in my mind that they would do the same for me. I have a daughter that I would do ANYTHING for. She is my world and I would go to hell and back for her.

Life and Love

Life is full of excitement, joy,sadness, happiness, and bunch more feelings that everyone is familiar with. I am doing my best to live my life so that I may have the best time possible. Life is too short to live with regrets and be unhappy all the time. I know that I may eat those words sometimes, but again it is part of life and sometimes you cannot help but feel that way. I would like to wake up each day and know that I am going to make someone smile and maybe even change their mind from having a bad day to having a good day. Life is like a blank canvas and you are the artist that is going to paint it. I like this quote by Ralph Waldo Emerson:

To laugh often and much; To win the respect of intelligent people and the affection of children; To earn the appreciation of honest critics and endure the betrayal of false friends; To appreciate beauty, to find the best in others; To leave the world a bit better, whether by a healthy child, a garden patch, or a redeemed social condition; To know even one life has breathed easier because you have lived. This is to have succeeded.

Nobody is perfect and we live in a imperfect world. So make the best of it you can and keep a smile on your face.

Love. To me this is the most fragile part of life. For myself I wear my emotions and my heart on my sleeve so to speak. I put myself into a relationship with 110% of who I am. I know this might not always be the best thing and a little caution might be helpful every now and then, but that is not who I am. I have a tendency to be to forward sometimes, but again that is who I am and that will not change. When I feel that something is over then I move on with no regrets. When I feel something is not over though I will fight with all that I am to keep that person. In a relationship sometimes I talk to much; I get that giddiness and don't shut up sometimes; now this I know can impact a relationship. I have tried shutting up,but again this is who I am.
I am a hopeless romantic as well. I believe in chivalry and that a gentleman should get the door, and treat a woman with the utmost respect. I have been known to write a poem or two and most of them deal with life and love. I have not written in a while, but I am going to start getting back into it. To love and be loved in return is the greatest pleasure in the world. So love with all your heart, live with no regrets and remember not to frown because you never know who could be falling in love with your smile.

Changes

So I have not been doing a good job with this blog as i was intending. A lot of things have changed since I started this blog. I have gone to work out in the oilfield for Sturgeon Electric and I love my job. It is repetitive, but the work is good. We have moved into a place and no longer have roommates. It was good while it lasted, but unfortunately everyone has to go their own way eventually. I also am hoping to start writing a lot more and I will post here when I have some stuff done. I also have some other ideas in the works and if I get the funding for some of these ideas I will be a very happy person!

New begining

So I had my first visit with the personal trainer on Friday. The first 30 minutes we went over what my goals were and took my measurements. My starting weight: 245 lbs. My target weight for now is 195 lbs. I would love to reach this by my buddy Jason's wedding. We shall see though. I will be posting pre-trainer pictures here soon. After talking with my trainer we are going to weight 4-6 weeks before checking my weight again. The only down side is I go see the doc tomorrow so I will get my weight then. Granted there will be little to no difference in 3 days. The trainer cut my calories to 1300 a day. This is a lot harder than I thought! I will persevere though! I will him my mark and I will lose the weight and tell the diabetes that it can kiss my ass!

January colds oh how I loathe thee

So starting about last Thursday I started feeling a little under the weather. I thought it might just be a minor cold, but to my dismay it was not. Friday night came around and I felt even worse, but I did not feel sick. So I vegged for most of the day trying to get some r and r. Saturday came around and I felt pretty good all signs of a cold (or what the doctors always call a virus cause they have no idea what the hell is wrong) were non-existent. Saturday night the wife and I decided to go out and shoot some pool for some practice (since we shoot league pool on Thursday night). A couple of games in and oh man did this cold hit me full force! My whole body ached. From my head to my toes; I felt like I had worked out for 24 hours straight. So I went home and pounded down some vitamin c and Echinacea. Sunday morning I ended up with that tickle in the throat and the coughing started. Phlegm galore started and so did the headaches.  So that brought me to Sunday night where a nice little ear infection set in at about 2 am. By the time I finally got that to settle down and get back to sleep it was 4 am. So here I sit with cotton in ear and meds galore in me trying to kick this nasty thing...

The sad thing is I get this cold/virus thing every year and it last 1-2 weeks. I guess at least I am unemployed at the moment and I can get over it before I go back to work. So here is to good drugs and good life!

Doc visit and life in general

So I went to the doc last Thursday about my diabetes. The results were that my meter is fine and my body is either rejecting my meds or I am fighting some major virus. Since I have been feeling fine the virus got ruled out. So the doc changed my meds around and I now have to take them at night and in the morning. I have noticed in the past that my tolerance for medication increases over time and was wondering if that was the case here. The doc said that is a chance so we will have to monitor it. I have to go back in a month and we will see how things are going. This morning would be the first time that I have a reading under 200; it was 186 ( normal range is 80-130 for a diabetic). So we shall see how it goes.

I have now changed my diet and am trying to eat healthier. The first things that I have stopped doing is drinking soda and alcohol. I have heard that if you stop drinking soda you will lose a few pounds just from that. Now the big thing is to get my family to change their eating style as well. I know one of the hardest things for me is going into a convenient store. I am a sucker for the Little Debbie chocolate pies. That is definitely my weakness! I do have to say that I have done pretty well lately. Also fast food is a hard place to eat at. I know they have salads, but you can eat them only so much....guess I need to start really cutting that out of my diet as well. On another note it does not look like I will be doing siding any longer...the owner of the company is well being a dick. He does not think he is making enough money, which is crap because we have seen what each job has costed, but oh well. That means that I can hit the gym. So here is to shedding some pounds and living a healthier me!

New blood glucose meter same results

So I got a new blood glucose meter yesterday...I checked it against my meter that I currently have and they registered within 12 points of each other. Not good news for me, but at least I know that it is not a meter problem. So first thing in the morning I have to call the doc to see what he wants to do. Chances are he is going to change my meds around and we will see what happens from there. On a good note though my glucose levels have come down a lot. They are in the low 200's instead of high 200's. I am wondering if my body is not building up an immunity to my meds though and that is part of my problem. We will see what the doc says tomorrow. Either way this is not going to deter me from living my life. I don't look at my diabetes as a hinder, but an eye opener that there are things I need to change. So here are some things that I am working towards in 2011 (I might have mentioned them already, but persistence is key right?):

• Lose at least 20 pounds by my birthday
• Eat healthier 
• Get off my meds for the diabetes (very long term goal)
• Get out of debt

I think a hero is an ordinary individual who finds strength to persevere and endure in spite of overwhelming obstacles. - Christopher Reeves